I Wonder...

"Loving you darling makes me so confused..."

All that I feel for you makes me wonder. Is that sometimes I feel this heat in my body and soul that makes me feel so scared. The way my heart jumps at the time I know I'm about to see you makes me wonder...

The feel I have whenever I see your name on the caller ID, makes me wonder so many things...
Do you really miss me? Do I really miss you?
The way I just decided to say yes to something I was running away of... that makes me wonder.
The way I get emotioned when I look into your eyes, your lovely eyes... that makes me wonder.
The way I get so mad at you for no important or particular reason makes me wonder too.

Should I step back? Should I keep going? Am I gonna fall for you? Are you gonna fall for me?
What if you hurt me? What if I hurt somebody else? What if you hurt somebody too?
Is it worth it?

Anger

I wish I could cry, scream my lungs out and yell in pain... But as hard as I try, as much it hurts to know that nobody is listening to my demands.

I just want love, I need it so bad. Where is that promised soul mate that all of us have? I've been searching for mine so hard that I just lose it forever...

Where are you my dreamed love, I keep calling you but there is no answer.

Should I just stop looking for you?I feel so uncherished, so empty and alone.

Now I can't burst into tears no more because I already cried them all expecting for you to come and rescue me... But you never showed up.

I'm angry at you for not being real, for not being here, for not letting me know you...

Abismo

Estoy cayendo en un abismo sin fondo. siento que todo intento por respirar es fallido. camino entre nubes negras que me impiden ver mas alla de mi propio ser.
Ya no hay nada en mi perturbada mente, nada en que pensar, nada que sentir...Estoy llegando al punto de caer, pero tengo miedo de no poder extender mis pies para encontrar el piso antes de caer sin poder levantarme otra vez.
No puedo ver si hay alguien al final del abismo que este presto a salvarme de la caida... Tampoco puedo pedir socorro pues mis labios estan sellados y mis manos atadas. Trato de soltarme sin cesar pero mientras mas lo intento mas fuerte siento mis ataduras.
Sigo tratando de pensar como pedir auxilio, pero mi mente esta en blanco, no puedo pensar, aun no puedo sentir.
Dolera caer? llegare a caer? no puedo ver el fondo. esta oscuro y frio. pero realmente no se si mis ojos se encuentran abiertos... Intento abrirlos pero no puedo sentir si estan cerrados.
Esta tan oscuro aqui... no se si siento miedo. Deveria de sentirlo?Donde estoy? donde voy a caer?
Sera a mi libertad... o sera a mi fin?